Monday, July 23, 2012

How we play the game

Midday at the Pinball museum in Alameda - hot, still air, busier than I've ever seen it. I'm not good at pinball, but I really enjoy it... love the bells, the lights, the rolling balls the flipping flippers. Playing pinball reminds me of playing the slots, except more fun, and less money lost.

On this day I was pinballin it with my sister ,and a cousin, and tried a new (to me) marble game - at first it made no sense, then gradually with practice it all started to become clearer... It is so easy to forget that with a little time, patience, and repetition most information starts to sort itself, and fall into place. The fact is, I often expect that I should swim immediately when dropped in new waters. The truth is, I may swim, I may flail - it's a big unknown...

The reflexive expectation of immediate mastery, and harsh judgement, when I fall short is what makes me so weary at the thought of trying new things.  The high value gambles can be the hardest to make, I will walk around the world and scrub all of the grout in the house to avoid failing at the things I really want. This keeps me safe, from  the larger world,  and the grout clean - am working on doubling my rate of failure, trying more, forgiving more. Inspired by this post on the Discardia blog

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